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    dots Submission Name: forgetting herdots

    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 439


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsforgetting herdots

    the touch of white on
    surprisingly strong clouds
    has settled down to shaven legs
    of women
    all silk, proud-breasted in black stockings
    parts of autumn like tossed curled brown
    as greying hair show in the dark
    to make a vaguely etched form.

    What will he remember?
    no stockings, only a broken doll
    with the effort of shaping
    a fossil.

    Submitted on 2013-02-25 10:42:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoy the vulneribility of this piece and how it draws me in. I like how this gives me a message but questions me at the same time. This gives me images like a lonely grandma in a rocking chair with nobody around here and remembering what she was.
    The metaphors was just amazing especially the first two lines.;)
    | Posted on 2013-03-26 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]
      I read this and think about aging... I don't want to grow old, even though I know it happens. I kinda get all panicky and freak out at the thought my hair will turn white and my body will break down. Maybe I will be long dead before I become that little slow sad woman on the bus that holds her ugly purse too tight and smiles like she isn't sure or not if someone is going to help her or shoot her when they meet her eyes. I don't know. This messes with my head. Which makes it a good write that is effective. But it really messes with my head.
    | Posted on 2013-03-25 00:00:00 | by EmptyBox | [ Reply to This ]
      with stones of silence
    tied to my tongue
    I try to remember
    as I try to forget

    pointless loyalties
    to past hurts
    debts should be buried
    and pain put to rest...

    Just some thoughts on your thoughts.
    | Posted on 2013-02-26 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Liked for being economic and interesting. And it's true.
    | Posted on 2013-02-26 00:00:00 | by Snow9 | [ Reply to This ]
      I keep thinking about this one
    as time runs on and we change
    as she my lover might change
    is a woman forgotten as she ages
    or does her memory become suffused
    with a patina of the perfection that used to
    be. When my lover is an old fossil dressing
    her bones what will I remember I think
    I will see her with eyes of love and she
    will retain her beauty in a rarified form
    that no other person could attain
    | Posted on 2013-02-25 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]

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