Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: forgetting herdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 611
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 439



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsforgetting herdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the touch of white on
    surprisingly strong clouds
    has settled down to shaven legs
    of women
    all silk, proud-breasted in black stockings
    parts of autumn like tossed curled brown
    leaves
    as greying hair show in the dark
    to make a vaguely etched form.

    What will he remember?
    no stockings, only a broken doll
    with the effort of shaping
    a fossil.




    Submitted on 2013-02-25 10:42:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoy the vulneribility of this piece and how it draws me in. I like how this gives me a message but questions me at the same time. This gives me images like a lonely grandma in a rocking chair with nobody around here and remembering what she was.
    The metaphors was just amazing especially the first two lines.;)
    | Posted on 2013-03-26 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]
      I read this and think about aging... I don't want to grow old, even though I know it happens. I kinda get all panicky and freak out at the thought my hair will turn white and my body will break down. Maybe I will be long dead before I become that little slow sad woman on the bus that holds her ugly purse too tight and smiles like she isn't sure or not if someone is going to help her or shoot her when they meet her eyes. I don't know. This messes with my head. Which makes it a good write that is effective. But it really messes with my head.
    | Posted on 2013-03-25 00:00:00 | by EmptyBox | [ Reply to This ]
      with stones of silence
    tied to my tongue
    I try to remember
    as I try to forget

    pointless loyalties
    to past hurts
    debts should be buried
    and pain put to rest...

    Just some thoughts on your thoughts.
    | Posted on 2013-02-26 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Liked for being economic and interesting. And it's true.
    | Posted on 2013-02-26 00:00:00 | by Snow9 | [ Reply to This ]
      I keep thinking about this one
    as time runs on and we change
    as she my lover might change
    is a woman forgotten as she ages
    or does her memory become suffused
    with a patina of the perfection that used to
    be. When my lover is an old fossil dressing
    her bones what will I remember I think
    I will see her with eyes of love and she
    will retain her beauty in a rarified form
    that no other person could attain
    | Posted on 2013-02-25 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196966

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry