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    dots Submission Name: Confessions of a 14 year old girldots

    Author: shaylikestacos
    ASL Info:    14, F, FL
    Elite Ratio:    1.43 - 1/5/6
    Words: 583
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 1161
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2979

       All my life, I have been very insecure. Middle school is when it got worse and that's what this poem is about. I love slam poetry so I thought I'd give it a try. I just started writing poetry about a few months ago. So yeah.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConfessions of a 14 year old girldots

    So people have always asked me why i'm so quiet. I always would tell them, "Well I've got nothin' to say." The truth is, I didn't wanna be judged by the words that I said as if the thoughts in my head would scare people away. I've never been one to have many friends. In the school line i'd find my usual place at the end. I'd sit at the front of the cafeteria. I was always the first one to take a seat because while everyone else was in line to get their food, I didn't eat. Sometimes people would ask me why I never ate and i'd tell them I forgot my lunch money. But i never really forgot. When my mom would ask me if I was out of lunch money, I would tell her I had plenty when really it was empty, left with not even a penny. I wanted to lose weight so I skipped meals and not having the money to eat would leave me without a choice. So I couldn't change my mind. Because in my mind, I had to be that much skinnier to be that much prettier. But how could I be pretty on the outside if i'm not even pretty within? Day by day, I'd cover my face with layers of makeup because I had ugly skin. I tried to find clothes that would make me look thin. Some mornings I would wake up and not even wanna try so I'd tell my mom I was sick throwing up so she'd let me stay home and not have to deal with all the stress because I had had enough. I would spend the day trying to find out ways for me to be at least kind of pretty. But it would take months to happen with all the extra weight and acne. And because of my impatience, I thought of a faster process. So I'd try to lose weight by shoving my fingers down my throat. But that was too hard to hide so I stopped before it got too hard to fight. It was 7th grade and when October came along, I found a guy who would tell me i was beautiful. All those mean, insecure thoughts that crossed my mind everyday and everynight were proved wrong. I started gaining confindence but in the wrong way. I was depending on him for my confidence, happiness and my strength. And when we broke up in September of the next year, all those thoughts came back. I spent those 10 months being happy but then I realized it was only temporary. I started feeling like I was just a waste. I would cut my skin to feel the pain. To know that I'm alive. To feel alive was something I strived. And i needed another boyfriend because I didn't wanna be alone. So guy after guy, I was taken advantage of. It was just love that I wanted but they were clearly there for something else. I didn't wanna be thought of in that way but hey, at least I was being thought of at all. But after insecurity, heartbreak, pain and suffer, A new me was discovered. I'm not as confident as I'm gonna be but I am gonna be. Those cuts on my wrist are now just old scars and the cuts on my heart are in healing. Right now i'm getting along but soon I WILL be happy.

    Submitted on 2013-03-04 19:24:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||

    this song is essentially what you have here. a string of thoughts connected by youth and insecurity.

    what i like about this song is that i have listened to it for many years now and it gets truer and truer the older i get.

    so listen to it carefully. there are some real gems in it to help getting through some of those awful moments life throws at us.

    it is so hard being female in these times.
    even the difference between when i was in high school and my sister being in high school are incredible and i have no idea how she made it through alive.

    i admire all teens in high school today. they have super hero abilities they dont even realise.

    i mean that.

    i cannot promise that you will ever be at peace with how everyone thinks you should look and act but i can promise that one day you will be comfortable with yourself. one day you will realise that what you think about yourself is the only thing that counts.

    take care and remember to unleash your super powers once in a while xx
    | Posted on 2013-03-08 00:00:00 | by impossiblyme | [ Reply to This ]
      Everything is intensified as a teenager. Those feelings are all so brand-new that it burns more brightly than it will in 5 or 6 more years. It gets better. :)
    The self-harming is bad, but you know that as you acknowledge it here.

    Well, I'm not going to play therapist here--I'm sure you'll find that tedious and pandering. On to the critique!

    The poem itself is decent when you move past the overwhelming bulk of it. I think you should add spaces and line breaks to make the message more accessible. You've got a good flow for a 14 year old, keep up the good work. :)

    | Posted on 2013-03-07 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




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