Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ghostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 663
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 421



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsghostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In what other lives have I known your eyes
    Your touch, unspeakably an abstract
    What fate can do so we will meet again
    on some world the future defied

    I hate my body's rush
    and my heart's resilience
    to uncover your truth
    only when you're gone
    with the trace of love-lingers between my breasts
    can I fathom your presence.





    Submitted on 2013-03-10 22:31:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      didn't click, didn't feel like it was coming out as you thought you were projecting it. I got tied up in a few lines like:

    to uncover your truth
    only when you're gone
    with the trace of love-lingers between my breasts

    i understand the statement but didnt come out well, theres a few corrections and this would be more felt :0) i aint no better this is just my opinion...
    | Posted on 2013-03-11 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]
      We never have time to really feel the essence
    held in cherished breaths while our lips entwine.
    O' but absent ourselves from the source and we
    find the air grown very rare.

    As reality moves from the inner folds of
    might have been, to always was, and will forever
    be. It strikes me that there really is, - the more
    that meets the eye- . For instance, am I crazy?
    or why is it that by simply wishing and
    burning a candle what used to be no longer is;
    and the depth of you becomes deeper and 10 times
    ten thousand lives shine in lucid relief.
    So as we flit through the cultivated parts of mind,
    I am reminded of the ghost that hovers
    just outside directing the play.



    Ghost
    In what other lives have I known your eyes
    Your touch, unspeakably an abstract
    What fate can do so we will meet again
    on some world the future defied

    I hate my body's rush
    and my heart's resilience
    to uncover your truth
    only when you're gone
    with the trace of love-lingers between my breasts
    can I fathom your presence.
    | Posted on 2013-03-11 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197026

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Love written by saartha
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Records I written by Raphael
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry