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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nightfalldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 815
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2491



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNightfalldots
    -------------------------------------------


                        The mountains weep in dissolution
                        as with dirt they attempt to fill the sea.
                        Fire flies wink on one by one.

                        Drifting from the open door of night
                        comes the lassitude of your lullaby.
                        And as the sun tongues a last
                        bloody kiss
                        to mist my eyes;
                        I can feel you real from the inside
                        dreaming out into the bloom of ever
                        deeper skies.

                        Until,

                        the stone of the mountains
                        disappears into purple haze
                        And you become the lone star
                        on my horizon.




    Submitted on 2013-03-14 23:42:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      as with the comments before mine, i loved the opening lines.

    loved it. :)
    | Posted on 2013-03-31 00:00:00 | by love_confusion | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the metaphors used, they are excellent. I also thought the opening lines are really strong and paints a picture. Then I like how the following lines took me to another state of mind. The end justified the entirety of the poem..This is really great Dale.
    | Posted on 2013-03-16 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      i absolutely adore the opening lines.
    the image you create is so gorgeous and yet completely how it is that i wonder why i never saw it before.

    mountains attempt to fill the sea. errosion/ corrosion. elements exposed and performing the task they were created to perform. the age old dance staged by time.

    i really appreciate the way you transition from dusk to night sky. the way you use fire flies to aid your imagery so that the reader can put themselves into the evening and watch as the skies change and the stars come out and the wait for the sun begins.

    this really is a beautiful piece.
    | Posted on 2013-03-15 00:00:00 | by impossiblyme | [ Reply to This ]


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