Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Within A Grey Gardendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 754
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       I have always loved spring. It's always been for me when I feel alive the most. It gets in my blood. And this piece as well as this past spring have been for me the beginning of my own personal renaisance.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithin A Grey Gardendots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've been walking
    around the garden
    surrounded by countless roses
    all of which are dead

    this once vibrant garden
    had been dressed in the most
    elegant mix of
    white, pink, and red

    but I find that
    I prefer it this way-
    surrounded by death
    feeling the numbness
    the cold has brought my hands

    this dead garden
    has brought me hope
    for I know spring will come
    with it the color shall return

    the sun shall warm
    my hands and neck
    that is when the garden,
    when I shall be reborn




    Submitted on 2004-08-03 16:45:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I got very confused after reading your description and then moving on to the first part of the poem. Death? What has that to do with spring?? Ahh but then all was revealed of course. I like it specifically for the reason that like the coming of spring itself, the poem blooms from something drab to something bright. Bright and sunny from John! Woohoo!
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      by reading your poem, it made me visualize what you were talking about. The garden imagery was great. I felt the coldness in there.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by sjayant | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great, honest - as writing of course should be. there is something appealing in sadistic manner in a wilting beauty.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Bee | [ Reply to This ]
      Things that have wilted, that have lost their fragrance their innocence and beauty must die in order to be made new, reborn. I love the theme of this piece. I think you could make the piece more fluid somehow, but I like it. Let me know if you revise this.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting, and in my opinion pretty good. I love how you talk about how the death of the garden helps you to await spring... there is no joy if there is no worser thing to compare it with. Good write.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    19705

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Incubus written by monad
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Stretto written by saartha
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry