Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Within A Grey Gardendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 748
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       I have always loved spring. It's always been for me when I feel alive the most. It gets in my blood. And this piece as well as this past spring have been for me the beginning of my own personal renaisance.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithin A Grey Gardendots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've been walking
    around the garden
    surrounded by countless roses
    all of which are dead

    this once vibrant garden
    had been dressed in the most
    elegant mix of
    white, pink, and red

    but I find that
    I prefer it this way-
    surrounded by death
    feeling the numbness
    the cold has brought my hands

    this dead garden
    has brought me hope
    for I know spring will come
    with it the color shall return

    the sun shall warm
    my hands and neck
    that is when the garden,
    when I shall be reborn




    Submitted on 2004-08-03 16:45:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I got very confused after reading your description and then moving on to the first part of the poem. Death? What has that to do with spring?? Ahh but then all was revealed of course. I like it specifically for the reason that like the coming of spring itself, the poem blooms from something drab to something bright. Bright and sunny from John! Woohoo!
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      by reading your poem, it made me visualize what you were talking about. The garden imagery was great. I felt the coldness in there.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by sjayant | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great, honest - as writing of course should be. there is something appealing in sadistic manner in a wilting beauty.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Bee | [ Reply to This ]
      Things that have wilted, that have lost their fragrance their innocence and beauty must die in order to be made new, reborn. I love the theme of this piece. I think you could make the piece more fluid somehow, but I like it. Let me know if you revise this.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting, and in my opinion pretty good. I love how you talk about how the death of the garden helps you to await spring... there is no joy if there is no worser thing to compare it with. Good write.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    19705

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Incubus written by monad
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    This written by Chelebel
    Giving written by jjd
    Push written by JanePlane
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry