[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Within A Grey Gardendots

    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 729
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653

       I have always loved spring. It's always been for me when I feel alive the most. It gets in my blood. And this piece as well as this past spring have been for me the beginning of my own personal renaisance.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithin A Grey Gardendots

    I've been walking
    around the garden
    surrounded by countless roses
    all of which are dead

    this once vibrant garden
    had been dressed in the most
    elegant mix of
    white, pink, and red

    but I find that
    I prefer it this way-
    surrounded by death
    feeling the numbness
    the cold has brought my hands

    this dead garden
    has brought me hope
    for I know spring will come
    with it the color shall return

    the sun shall warm
    my hands and neck
    that is when the garden,
    when I shall be reborn

    Submitted on 2004-08-03 16:45:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I got very confused after reading your description and then moving on to the first part of the poem. Death? What has that to do with spring?? Ahh but then all was revealed of course. I like it specifically for the reason that like the coming of spring itself, the poem blooms from something drab to something bright. Bright and sunny from John! Woohoo!
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      by reading your poem, it made me visualize what you were talking about. The garden imagery was great. I felt the coldness in there.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by sjayant | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great, honest - as writing of course should be. there is something appealing in sadistic manner in a wilting beauty.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Bee | [ Reply to This ]
      Things that have wilted, that have lost their fragrance their innocence and beauty must die in order to be made new, reborn. I love the theme of this piece. I think you could make the piece more fluid somehow, but I like it. Let me know if you revise this.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting, and in my opinion pretty good. I love how you talk about how the death of the garden helps you to await spring... there is no joy if there is no worser thing to compare it with. Good write.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Outlaw
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]