Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mirrordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 535
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 731



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMirrordots
    -------------------------------------------


    You value the golden cord
    encircled to fit a finger
    a woman’s love coverlet
    a rare tale relinquished
    with a tin of roses
    faint and unconscious
    but ignore the seasons I touch
    a blank shelf of time
    I thought my skin will learn again.

    I still think of you
    in the most subtle way a leaf can fall
    on a slightly eroded ground.
    Outside, the fog hangs
    heavy with my overripe flesh casting
    down to gravity.
    I feel the pull of goodbye
    weighing like a cut of paper
    from your absence.

    By every curve of the leg, every trace of my gnarled fingers
    I watch my face
    become yours.




    Submitted on 2013-03-16 02:37:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I felt a push and pull on this one. As a reader I noticed you want to expand yet hold some back. There are some delicate lines here-so sweet and lovely yet you managed to inflict pain in it somehow mixed it up.
    This poem wanted relatedness..catch you and settles in. I felt also a bit sad while reading your works like this one but there's something peaceful to it after reading. Maybe what I want to say is I really like this piece. Just thoughts..
    | Posted on 2013-03-26 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]
      Where does the importance lie in
    the forming of a relationship?
    Does a man long only for a trophy and
    status without truly knowing the
    innerheart of his mate?
    Is it in the reflection of each individual's mind
    or ego's eye, as it reflects back
    unto itself what it desires? Yet do we
    really see one another?
    What is a woman in the eyes
    of a man? Does she see a reflection of his view?
    Does he see one of hers? Is there to come a point when
    regardless of intent time will merge this union
    into a single reflection? `
    I watch my face become yours may not
    always be the answer but I think if it comes
    because of shared growth and experience as
    partners in life then perhaps it is
    one of the better ones.

    | Posted on 2013-03-16 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197052

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    The Promise written by annie0888
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Bond written by saartha
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Push written by JanePlane
    This written by Chelebel
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Giving written by jjd
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    To written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry