Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ollie_wicked
    ASL Info:    27?FEarth
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 320/200/90
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 501
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1305



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    When we get old
    we're going to meet.
    Meet like it's the first time.
    We'll fall in love
    all over again.

    You'll be interesting,
    I'll be loyal.
    You'll relive
    your vagabond life.
    I'll tell you what I accomplished.
    Still working hard to prove
    everyone
    wrong.

    But if all I can give you
    is my old age,
    my old friend,
    I hope you'll take it.
    And be content.

    I could never make you
    content.

    I have such silly dreams.
    Silly ideals.
    They tease me at work.
    But you knew me.
    I want to know you.

    I want to know of how
    you've triumphed,
    over your own heart.
    I want to know what
    it's like to see you again
    for the first time.

    You'll be interesting.
    I'll be loyal.
    You'll be the world.
    I'll be something that
    tried to be better
    than her predecessor.

    I never held you to
    the world's standard.
    I just wanted you to be
    content.
    Happy.
    To know you are loved by
    all
    who meet you.




    Submitted on 2013-03-20 00:11:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      at first i thought this piece was about dementia or Alzheimers... you'll be interesting; ill be loyal... reminds me of working in the resthome and seeing a resident with dementia sitting with her husband who was still of sound mind... she prattled away about their life without realising that he was the one she loved way back when...

    and then i got to thinking that actually this piece could be about the one that got away. not got away in a bad sense but in a too-hard-to-contain-so-i-let-you-go-off-into-the-world kind of way...
    knowing that one day you'll be reunited. that one day he will come back and tell you of all his adventures and you will tell him of what it would have been to stay... the best of both worlds...

    i cannot put my finger on it.

    i love your way with words.
    i hope you dont mind my vaguely useless comments on your words. but i really enjoy all the different directions they take me and the way you capture human relationship so well within your pieces.
    | Posted on 2013-03-22 00:00:00 | by impossiblyme | [ Reply to This ]
      I like constructive moving on if that's the heart that you put finger to keyboard with. I also like your certainty that the older we get the wiser we get. Most of all I like your devotion to love - not just in a selfish way - as the last line seems to suggest. Thanks for the read!
    | Posted on 2013-03-22 00:00:00 | by strike three | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought i was getting it until the end
    (To know you are loved by
    all
    who meet you.)
    And Now I am just lost
    | Posted on 2013-03-20 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197071

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Genesis written by saartha
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry