[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: White-Line Feverdots

    Author: ollie_wicked
    ASL Info:    27?FEarth
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 320/200/91
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 891
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1309


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhite-Line Feverdots

    My grandmother says I have a bad case
    of White-Line Fever.
    Says her momma had it all her life.
    We just can't stand to stop.

    Never stagnant, always flowing.

    Our eyes were both blue.
    "Like the ocean," she says.
    Powerful, outstretched beyond our means,
    and always encapsulating.

    She says we share the same big red heart,
    much too big for our bodies that we
    can't help but share it with everyone.

    I stood at the barrel of a shotgun
    for a flea-ridden wandering dog.
    Dying for the love of life.

    She brought home flea-ridden wandering dogs
    of the penniless human variety.
    Living for the love of humanity.

    I come from a long line of powerful women.
    It skips every second generation.

    My momma was a back laying worker
    who tricked my daddy into marrying him.
    Her great grandma was a ruthless bootlegger
    who traded her daughter for land.

    Tried anyway.

    But my great grandma and I wouldn't stand for that.
    We did the best thing we know how:
    riding that highway road outstretched for miles.

    Never stagnant, always flowing.

    Submitted on 2013-03-20 02:12:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this would have to be the best thing ive read since returning to this site.


    this could be a bob dylan lyric [and i ADORE bob dylan lyrics.
    the way it wanders and meanders while punching through a point too... powerful.

    does it make you fear for your daughter?
    having noted the pattern of skipping generations do you think your daughter could go against the pattern? or will you be more accepting of whatever it is she becomes because the pattern has been noted?


    theres a lot to be said for a heart ten sizes too big for the body. there arent enough big hearts in the world these days otherwise the world would not be the way it is.

    and yet it is those with the biggest hearts who suffer the most hurt and feel the deepest sadness too..

    this really is beautiful and the way you have constructed this piece is sensational.
    really. i take my hat off to you.
    | Posted on 2013-03-22 00:00:00 | by impossiblyme | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful! Reads like prose but as deep as poetry. Deep and powerful and very personal. I can't seem to get that balance. Thanks for the read!
    | Posted on 2013-03-22 00:00:00 | by strike three | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]