Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In Giving Updots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    24/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 622/961/454
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 750
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 952



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Giving Updots
    -------------------------------------------


    When the world falls around you,
    And the lights are shut off in your life..
    There seems to be learned helplessness,
    That is so severe, it threatens mortality.

    Emotions so systemic,
    A dream that is so hard to be attained..
    The threat of loss...
    The dealings with loss...

    The carelessness, and apathy,
    The tensions that eat at me alive,
    To awake in this broken cold home,
    And know that no one is there...

    Today I lost my car,
    I lost my job,
    I lost my home...
    I have never felt so alone...

    No hand to hold onto,
    No happy ending..
    No one by my side...
    This suffering has to end.

    I don't want to be here anymore,
    I do not desire to keep fighting for failure,
    I desire to be burried,
    I desire to end myself...

    The essence of my weak life




    Submitted on 2013-03-20 17:52:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Today I lost my car,
    I lost my job,
    I lost my home...

    actually? because if so i am so sorry!
    if i lived closer i'd let you crash at mine but alas... whole other countries and all of that.

    sometimes life caves in. sometimes the bottom drops out of it and we feel like we are falling falling falling though we never know a) what we're falling into and b) when the fall ends.

    i pray the end of the fall is soon for you and i just hope that it is a much better ending than the promise in your piece.

    youve battled your way through every obstacle and hardship that has come your way... it'd be a shame to throw in the towel now.

    maybe just find somewhere safe you can sit the next round out... somewhere safe to regroup... to plan a new offence?

    good luck and stay safe.
    | Posted on 2013-03-21 00:00:00 | by impossiblyme | [ Reply to This ]
      Definitely a poem that lives up to your Nom de plume
    I feel ever so much more depressed than I did just a minute ago
    | Posted on 2013-03-20 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197077

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Moon and Me written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Don't Tell Me You Love Me written by homeless
    coping mechanism written by cornonthekob
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Would You... written by rev.jpfadeproof
    I Wonder If written by Wolfwatching
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    After a Dream written by KeeperOfLight
    'Cause You're Mine, I Walk the Line. written by Torie
    Still written by rev.jpfadeproof
    I Believed written by homeless
    The Phoenetians and Us written by Torie
    Blank Page written by Chelebel
    Two written by homeless
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    Revised written by Darkwarrior
    Forget written by Crestfallenman
    burning confusion written by cornonthekob
    Wisp of You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fizzy Love written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Time Is Good written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled 2 written by homeless
    Confessions and shit... written by Daniel Barlow
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    No More Damn Love Poems written by rev.jpfadeproof
    April 1, 2018 written by homeless

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry