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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kettle Boydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: tOXIC_wAST3
    Elite Ratio:    4.77 - 10/9/4
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 570
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 344



    Description:
       A fancy way to say, please stop talking to me like that, it's rather hurtful ^_^


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKettle Boydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Don't pour your words in me, please.

    My cup is full and you're scolding again.

    It rather tingles when you insist,

    Inside and throughout...

    I must advise you note this rim,

    a capacity that cannot vary.

    Please, don't pour your words over me.




    Submitted on 2013-03-25 08:53:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the idea of this concept, the pouring of a hot kettle acts as someone talking nasty or mean or annoying.

    First line maybe try "on me" instead of "in me". Otherwise I think this poem could turn into torture because who would want a steaming hot kettle of water poured down their throught. People don't pour words down other people's throughts, do they? Unless the speaker is the cup?

    I like lines 2 and 3, although I'm not sure of the word "tingles" in line 3. Tingles doesn't suggest pain, or annoyance. To me its a neutral feeling. Unless you're are trying to suggest numbness like when your foot falls asleep it gets all tingley.

    Lines 5 and 6 don't make sense to me.

    Again, concept is good but I think needs some work.
    | Posted on 2013-03-26 00:00:00 | by BiscuitKitty | [ Reply to This ]


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