[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Kettle Boydots

    Author: tOXIC_wAST3
    Elite Ratio:    4.77 - 10/9/4
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 598
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 344

       A fancy way to say, please stop talking to me like that, it's rather hurtful ^_^

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKettle Boydots

    Don't pour your words in me, please.

    My cup is full and you're scolding again.

    It rather tingles when you insist,

    Inside and throughout...

    I must advise you note this rim,

    a capacity that cannot vary.

    Please, don't pour your words over me.

    Submitted on 2013-03-25 08:53:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like the idea of this concept, the pouring of a hot kettle acts as someone talking nasty or mean or annoying.

    First line maybe try "on me" instead of "in me". Otherwise I think this poem could turn into torture because who would want a steaming hot kettle of water poured down their throught. People don't pour words down other people's throughts, do they? Unless the speaker is the cup?

    I like lines 2 and 3, although I'm not sure of the word "tingles" in line 3. Tingles doesn't suggest pain, or annoyance. To me its a neutral feeling. Unless you're are trying to suggest numbness like when your foot falls asleep it gets all tingley.

    Lines 5 and 6 don't make sense to me.

    Again, concept is good but I think needs some work.
    | Posted on 2013-03-26 00:00:00 | by BiscuitKitty | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Your Lover written by Cordell
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Every..... written by jackz
    Linger written by saartha
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    True Death written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]