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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Promises dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Windigo
    Elite Ratio:    2.66 - 6/13/13
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Alone
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 398



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPromises dots
    -------------------------------------------


    All the shadows melted away,
    Part of the night slipped into day.

    Your heart filled with the hope of not feeling alone,
    But you closed your eyes too soon.

    Today she was there long after the sun,
    Oblivious to all the things that you have done.

    Waiting in the dark, she had to depart,
    Knowing that the moon wouldn't come.




    Submitted on 2013-03-26 14:52:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with BiscuitKitty, I think this could use some more lines to explain it a little more. But you're prose in the penmanship is well done.
    | Posted on 2013-03-31 00:00:00 | by gwenn sundala | [ Reply to This ]
      A little confused as to who "you" and "she" represent in this piece. I thought this piece might be about the moon and the sun, but that doesn't appear to be. I wish there was more clarity as to what was going on or trying to be said here, but that's totally up to you of course. I do think you have some good lines going on.
    | Posted on 2013-03-27 00:00:00 | by BiscuitKitty | [ Reply to This ]


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