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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: blue moondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: southernswagger
    ASL Info:    23/f/england
    Elite Ratio:    1.58 - 9/54/45
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 604
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 788



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsblue moondots
    -------------------------------------------


    envy; such a grey matter
    only the thin get fatter
    and only the bald need wigs-
    do you dig?

    why so serious,
    why so delirious?
    why so sombre?
    why are you a push over?

    what do you want; may I ask?
    sorry, I mean, I demand to know,
    give me some answers
    before I perform my strip show.

    hard or soft, you want one or another
    a male designated/a male designed vagina.
    pinned-up on your wall, next to Jesus pinned to the cross,
    what do you lack, for this great loss,
    do you want to be my boss?

    save yourself before you save me,
    you pay money to see
    dignity and strength on a pole
    because you have neither of your own.




    Submitted on 2013-03-26 18:02:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think with my eyes,
    And it gets you fierce.
    You think with your ears,
    So expect the lies!

    Can I be your boss?
    Only for the night?
    I could whisper sweet nothings;
    be gone before sunrise.

    I could accept differences.
    And, God we've all tried.
    But for eyes and ears to meet,
    you need love inside.

    Great poem. Thanks for the read. This comment just occured. Love!
    | Posted on 2013-03-28 00:00:00 | by strike three | [ Reply to This ]
      Some good observations "only the thin get fatter" and excellent lines like ... "I mean, I demand to know/ before I perform my strip show. I wasn't getting the overall theme on the first read through even though I enjoyed the freshness of the writing. I was a bit put-off by what seemed to be some forced rhymes. I would rearrange the last stanza as:

    Because you have nothing of your own,
    you pay money to see
    my dignity and strength on a pole -
    Save yourself before you save me.

    giving the ending more effect. Anyway, I like it.
    | Posted on 2013-03-26 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
       Well well well, a strip tease story, in the light of a striper. Asking what the man wants. Does the man want to save her or be full of lust? A very sexist industry, but do women care?
    These thoughts of mine are so kind, good read. Good wright.
    | Posted on 2013-03-26 00:00:00 | by Windigo | [ Reply to This ]
      So many lonely men watching porn these days. Have a little mercy! I realize these women are often beyond their keen, but of it's endemic to our genetics to lust for. Non the less I have a great deal of empathy for the manumissional treatise it did to me. "Do you want to be my boss", your killing me, I love it!!

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2013-03-26 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


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