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    dots Submission Name: Driving to the Dead Enddots

    Author: BiscuitKitty
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    6.02 - 8/5/4
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 694
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 399


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    dotsDriving to the Dead Enddots

    Sparse light to see the double yellow line.
    His bottle of Jack rolling around in the back.
    Every second passing by like watching a single
    Snowflake dropping from the sky.
    Dare she close her eyes in case this is a dream.
    Even he has realized the wall closing in.
    A bottle of Jack thrown from the back.
    Dare open her eyes to prove itís a dream.

    Submitted on 2013-03-26 20:04:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      .....I just realized something. The beginning letter at the start of each sentence spells "SHE'S DEAD". That's...brilliant. But alas, you asked for a bash, so I will comply. Disjointed, fragmented sentences make up the entirety of this crap, and it fails to illustrate what and who the characters are. At no point does it mention who 'he' is, or who 'she' is, and the poem suffers terribly because of it.

    | Posted on 2013-04-04 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]

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