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Driving to the Dead End

Author: BiscuitKitty
ASL Info:    25
Elite Ratio:    6.02 - 8 /5 /4
Words: 67
Class/Type: Poetry /Death
Total Views: 1107
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 401


Driving to the Dead End

Sparse light to see the double yellow line.
His bottle of Jack rolling around in the back.
Every second passing by like watching a single
Snowflake dropping from the sky.
Dare she close her eyes in case this is a dream.
Even he has realized the wall closing in.
A bottle of Jack thrown from the back.
Dare open her eyes to prove it’s a dream.

Submitted on 2013-03-26 20:04:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  .....I just realized something. The beginning letter at the start of each sentence spells "SHE'S DEAD". That's...brilliant. But alas, you asked for a bash, so I will comply. Disjointed, fragmented sentences make up the entirety of this crap, and it fails to illustrate what and who the characters are. At no point does it mention who 'he' is, or who 'she' is, and the poem suffers terribly because of it.

| Posted on 2013-04-04 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]

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