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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mind Meets Fatedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: metallichick786
    ASL Info:    32/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 78/85/52
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Story/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 1247
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 991



    Description:
       


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    dotsMind Meets Fatedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Standing on a granite mass, a cold air surrounds me, my skirt clings to my ankles in fear- darkness engulfs me. Wishing to go higher I scale further, moss and mud-as my fingers scrape the steepened rock face. My bare toes frozen with remorse, still... I know this is my course.

    I cannot bear another moment, I am lifeless and have been for so long. The world now permanently frozen in a black and white realm; I melt into nothingness. I clutch my knees crouched low, and I soon turn to ice. This despair has been a lifelong force... I slowly move forward to my course.

    Quivering I move toward the edge, darkness is all I can make out. A black hole of misery- and a remedy to cure that which ails below. I stop and briefly ponder- how will I look when I am found? Will anyone ever find me? I wonder if I will feel anything upon impact as I melt into the snow. My mind is my death, it's always been the source... My feet leave ground as I fall in to course.




    Submitted on 2013-03-27 15:07:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This seems a bit more poetic than a story, however I like it in the form of paragraphs, so forget I said that :) I really like the descriptions of the scene: " granite mass", "skirt clings to my ankles in fear", "bare toes frozen", all add to the feeling of this piece. I wish there was more of that. I feel if there was more of that, there would be more power to this piece, add to its meaning and depth. I enjoyed it though!
    | Posted on 2013-03-27 00:00:00 | by BiscuitKitty | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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