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    dots Submission Name: Into Ruinsdots

    Author: raspberry89
    Elite Ratio:    1.6 - 5/18/22
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 792
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 771


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    dotsInto Ruinsdots

    How can I define to you in a rhyme
    My pain, melodically, nurtured by time

    How can I make anyone feel what I feel
    When all I know are lies, how can I make this real

    Let me bring you down with me
    As we walk through the fires, tell me what you see

    Give me 18 years to destroy your worth
    I'll be in your brain til you regret your birth

    Let me throw you to the lions blindfolded
    Stand your ground, see how long you can hold it

    Let me sully all that surrounds you
    You'll thank God for the worst you've been through

    Only when your life hinges on hiding like I hid
    Will you be capable of knowing pain like I did

    Submitted on 2013-03-28 05:07:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Painful! Angst against a parent? Reads really well. I would have loved to see a more forgiving closure; a rise above the pain!
    | Posted on 2013-04-04 00:00:00 | by strike three | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it. Making a rhyme chain like that is a thought for words. Some can't do what you just did.
    | Posted on 2013-03-28 00:00:00 | by Windigo | [ Reply to This ]

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