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    dots Submission Name: Immortal Foolsdots

    Author: strike three
    ASL Info:    32/m/Ethiopia
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 49/54/28
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 652
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1057


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsImmortal Foolsdots

    And the world goes dim,
    Clouds gravitate to the floor
    The winds shoot sky high

    The rivers stay still
    And the ice crumbles to life
    And tears break corneas

    Doom! Outside or inside?
    Does it matter either way?
    Can you stop it anyway?

    Death! Say hello to a friend.
    Youíll get closer as youíre older.
    Keep in mind, the very end.

    As we know it, we fools,
    Our formulas and theories
    Our knowledge and our misery.

    Death! Itís all over!
    Itís hard to accept.
    Strive for respect?

    Like a Pharaoh, eternal dead?
    Like Jesus, still alive?
    Dead scientist, still useful?

    Death! Spirit eternal?
    Or ashes to dust to dust?
    Or did you bother to give a fuck?

    Six feet underground
    No remains to be found
    Or etched in memories ingloriously?

    Death! Can you accept?
    Either fly or dry.
    Are you ready tonight?

    Submitted on 2013-03-28 13:51:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This grabs my attention and makes me think about existence from various perspectives. You have many good lines but I like "Or did you bother to give a fuck?" most. I take that in the sense that one can get caught up in different belief systems but why bother? I like the yoga dog too. Great!
    | Posted on 2013-04-02 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      Title changed to 'Immortal Fools' from 'I will never write a suicide note'. Thanks gwenn sundala.
    | Posted on 2013-04-01 00:00:00 | by strike three | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece twists a knife in the reader and forces them to think....what is it they see in death? what is their purpose in life? the only thing i would change is the title; it did not seem to fit the theme of the piece. otherwise good work!
    | Posted on 2013-03-31 00:00:00 | by gwenn sundala | [ Reply to This ]

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