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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: nostalgiadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KotaNashi
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 29/36/18
    Words: 28
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 197



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsnostalgiadots
    -------------------------------------------


    STOLE YOUR BRUSHES
    stole your soap
    stole your paints and canvas


    as a joke

    but then i kept them
    the various sizes and
    lavender scent




    Submitted on 2013-04-01 20:00:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting! What started as a ruse became a permanent fixture! I've done my fair share of dabbling with paints, and KNOW first-hand just how expensive the hobby can be. Artistic things do NOT come cheaply.

    While the capitalization in the first line makes sense as an attention-grabber, it is misplace, I think. It would be better if 'as a joke' was capitalized. Or, now that I think about it and consider, perhaps only 'stole' needs to be capitalized; STOLE is such a commanding word, I think it would lend a fair bit of strength to an already-powerful piece. Did this actually happen, out of curiosity?

    ~Truffles
    | Posted on 2013-04-11 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually really like this. Its in a sort of plain speech that could have easily been more elaborate but in not making it more ornate its actually more grounded and accessible. I also like the directions this goes in, from the joke to the not-joking. It gives a strong sentiment. Lavender scent seems a little generic, as though this line could use a more personal reference to drive home that final punch. Just a thought though.
    | Posted on 2013-04-03 00:00:00 | by Aym | [ Reply to This ]


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