Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Re: Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Carosuel
    ASL Info:    26/F/Twirlwind
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 96/73/28
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 969
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 547



    Description:
       I'm lost on this one. I figured I could upload and get some feedback and maybe someone could point me in a good direction. There's so much more than angst here, the story here is so complex. This is to my husband.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRe: Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Like the sands, I shift under your weight.
    Just a whisper away, I can hear your voice.
    I am bound to your howling, Moonchild.
    I will listen without choice.

    Goddess born. Strayed.
    Fire consumed. Yet I stay.

    Hidden in a sylvan glory, I wonder if I still exist.
    Lost in these grey forests, the bark pallid in color.
    Charcoal. Silver. Pearl. Blanched.
    I am lost in this wooded mirror.

    Shattered.

    True to form, my love.






    Submitted on 2013-04-05 09:21:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I find myself wondering if this is a reference to being 'lost in him', rather than 'lost in your own place'. I'm a tad inept in regards to construing personal pieces of text; this being said, I find myself incapable of discerning the negative from the positive energies of this concoction. Because of this, I wouldn't and will not risk making a misconceived critique.
    However, what I will offer is overall praise (might as well take the opportunity to spread some good vibes, right?);
    you transform physical elements into ornaments- these visuals that say more about what you feel than what you see, and I find nothing more inspiring than that. You feed the brain, provide it with lucid imagery, all the while communicating with the reader directly.
    Kudos, fellow writer.
    | Posted on 2015-02-17 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197174

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Incubus written by monad
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Linger written by saartha
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry