[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Ever had...dots

    Author: KimmyMim
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 223/303/117
    Words: 221
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 564
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1531


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEver had...dots

    ...one of those Days?

    You know.
    ...the kind you wish you could tuck away in a nook
    under the rotting planks of a run down shack
    whose memories of days gone by
    have been blotted out
    and left behind
    in the middle
    of nowhere.

    ...or the kind you find way back behind
    the shoes and boots and dirty winter jackets
    that reek the biting smell
    of cedar and old feet
    in the bottom
    of a clammy closet.

    ...even the kind that belongs far off
    in a field of forgotten flaws
    where no one knows to search
    deep beneath the surface
    of the dirt,
    mangled in the roots
    of the sighing, weeping willow
    (where you're certain it came from).

    Probably no place could contain it though.
    I couldn't.

    What pudding head birds would bring this on at sunrise?
    Who forged these shifty plans to interfere
    with my usual spirit
    of happiness?

    Even in the newness of a Springtime breeze
    today seems artificial
    with all it's drama
    and tears.
    It should linger no longer...

    to allow my eyes to watch
    with delight
    as finally it is swallowed
    by a fatal sunset!

    Her minutes are numbered.
    In an instant she should be gone.
    Deserving of a quick
    and sudden death.
    Any time now.

    Submitted on 2013-04-05 15:38:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ever had one of those days? Yes!
    - I feel the same sometimes, wondering why things are as they are, why those who don't deserve it suffer, whilst those who do...don't.

    Maybe your piece is not just about today's melodramatic society, but infact acts as a metaphor for many things in life, past, present and future.

    However, never underestimate the will and heart of a genuine human-being. Light times always follow on from dark ones. Silver-linings are always found in every situation.

    So one day you may lose faith in all that you see. And on another you may be reminded of how beautiful everything else is in comparison.

    ...maybe it's a mindset...maybe it's just one of those days!

    Peace :) Mstr Rz
    | Posted on 2013-04-08 00:00:00 | by master raz | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sure many sages felt this way way back when man was first developing his theories on life after death. Even still, though the weather is somewhat inclement, I really like it here!! Although there is an impending preponderance of disaster that's clear to all I like to think we are going to make it through. In short this is depressing. Try to be more constructive!!


    PS: Actually this was rather fun....need I mention my own theories on the existentially transcendental. Positively maieutic of you.
    | Posted on 2013-04-05 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Linger written by saartha
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Push written by JanePlane
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer written by layDsayD
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    To written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Bond written by saartha
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Incubus written by monad
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Giving written by jjd
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]