Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ever had...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KimmyMim
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 223/303/117
    Words: 221
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 497
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1531



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEver had...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    ...one of those Days?

    You know.
    ...the kind you wish you could tuck away in a nook
    under the rotting planks of a run down shack
    whose memories of days gone by
    have been blotted out
    and left behind
    in the middle
    of nowhere.

    ...or the kind you find way back behind
    the shoes and boots and dirty winter jackets
    that reek the biting smell
    of cedar and old feet
    in the bottom
    of a clammy closet.

    ...even the kind that belongs far off
    in a field of forgotten flaws
    where no one knows to search
    deep beneath the surface
    of the dirt,
    mangled in the roots
    of the sighing, weeping willow
    (where you're certain it came from).

    Probably no place could contain it though.
    I couldn't.

    What pudding head birds would bring this on at sunrise?
    Who forged these shifty plans to interfere
    with my usual spirit
    of happiness?

    Even in the newness of a Springtime breeze
    today seems artificial
    with all it's drama
    and tears.
    It should linger no longer...

    except
    to allow my eyes to watch
    with delight
    as finally it is swallowed
    by a fatal sunset!

    Her minutes are numbered.
    In an instant she should be gone.
    Deserving of a quick
    and sudden death.
    Any time now.





    Submitted on 2013-04-05 15:38:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ever had one of those days? Yes!
    - I feel the same sometimes, wondering why things are as they are, why those who don't deserve it suffer, whilst those who do...don't.

    Maybe your piece is not just about today's melodramatic society, but infact acts as a metaphor for many things in life, past, present and future.

    However, never underestimate the will and heart of a genuine human-being. Light times always follow on from dark ones. Silver-linings are always found in every situation.

    So one day you may lose faith in all that you see. And on another you may be reminded of how beautiful everything else is in comparison.

    ...maybe it's a mindset...maybe it's just one of those days!

    Peace :) Mstr Rz
    | Posted on 2013-04-08 00:00:00 | by master raz | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sure many sages felt this way way back when man was first developing his theories on life after death. Even still, though the weather is somewhat inclement, I really like it here!! Although there is an impending preponderance of disaster that's clear to all I like to think we are going to make it through. In short this is depressing. Try to be more constructive!!

    Bruce

    PS: Actually this was rather fun....need I mention my own theories on the existentially transcendental. Positively maieutic of you.
    | Posted on 2013-04-05 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197175

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry