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    dots Submission Name: NaPoMo week 1dots

    Author: OneDarkFlame92
    ASL Info:    23/m/Numeanor
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 457/422/225
    Words: 300
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1347
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2024

       poem a day

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNaPoMo week 1dots

    NaPoMo 2013 Week 1

    formulates meaning in
    obscure ways.
    Like what we feel at
    the sight of grand cathedrals—
    fossilizing dying customs.


    like if these words were commissioned,
    i'd use them to hang the pope from the only spot
    and now that i can write outside of sacraments,
    these words might mean something

    Rain on asphalt,
    Smeared by the glow of streetlights—
    Piles on like endless stacks of gold.
    Honing in on this scene is like watching Mother Nature glitch,
    Ignoring all itch
    One blink,
    And this is all a puddle


    mother nature tears apart the sheets of clouds
    and lets her torch drop
    it shatters
    and its little embers take over the sky.

    its said that it will all be back again;
    that the moon is just a steward for the sun
    and it comes and goes like sorrow

    but i decide if tomorrow comes
    every time i close my eyes and let it.

    You wouldn’t care if I said that I cry myself to sleep every night
    Because this isn’t a diary,
    And I’ve run out of ways to describe the rain

    Your apathy—
    a mantra of “I don’t care”.
    It almost feels sacrificial
    how I bleed out over soil
    hoping for rains to fall and seeds to sprout.
    But I only flatter your divine vanity
    with my efforts… Vedic at best.
    So I’ll reform and grow;
    detach myself from you
    so that you can play this game again
    in another body.

    Submitted on 2013-04-06 15:51:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
    formulates meaning in
    obscure ways.
    Like what we feel at
    the sight of grand cathedrals—
    fossilizing dying customs."

    In the same way that loosely grouped thoughts tend to become a larger structure upon which we hang a series of ideas. Those are my thoughts regarding yours.
    | Posted on 2013-04-20 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Whoa. This is powerfully-moving stuff, all of it! Let me congratulate you on what you're doing; it's no easy feat to try to write something deep and meaningful every single day. 4/5/13 is so simplistic, and coincidentally my favorite because it says an incredible amount in only three lines (and worry not, there are always more ways to describe the rain)!

    I've read it again, and have noticed a pattern beginning to appear; you go from letting somethings have an affect on you to someONE having an effect on you. It's refreshing and yet saddening at the same time, and I'm having a hard time putting my finger on the reason I can feel these two emotions at the same time...but you made me feel them nonetheless, and for that, I applaud you. This is, indeed, the start of something grand.

    | Posted on 2013-04-11 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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