In the mist of my drunkness I picked up my phone to text you.
I couldn't bring myself to call.
No, although I was drunk I wasn't that foolish, I knew you would not answer.
My words made no sense and holding the phone was difficult.
I was nervous but careless and feeling hatred as well of love towards you. My drunken mind had one goal and that was to let you know the feelings I kept hidden from you.
I wanted to tell you how you made me suffer
How when you ignored me I cried myself to sleep most nights
How I am in constant war with my heart and mind. One saying move on while the other says argues but you still love him
But no....in the end all I was able to say with my fumbled fingers was " I miss you my love. You were the one to make my heart skip beats"
I clicked sent before I passed out.
I woke up with regret. Scared to death of what I had said and scared of what your reply would be. If there was even any.
All I had was a single text from you
And it said " You are my hearts every beat"
And it's shit like this, that confuses me. And makes me fall back into the cycle of loving you.
Wondering what do you mean by it,
Why did you say that
It's as if you want me to stay wrapped around your finger
And I don't want to love you.
Loving you hurts
Loving you hurts...