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    dots Submission Name: wide opendots

    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 609
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 994

       for his birthday

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswide opendots

    the window still, the lone star
    clinging above and my lover
    as always at his post somewhere
    at the blueprint of our world

    this is our tomorrow..

    the piles of books, his table,
    my corner of the bed, paper clips,
    empty trashcan,
    a box of pizza
    and water drops from the faucet to separate
    the ticks of his heart from the 80's songs
    of the radio


    the city lights shine like brittle rocks
    under the moonlight in a hypothetical shore
    brick after brick his voice resounds
    racing day and night to the quarry
    of my mind

    I was alone now..

    somewhere in it all my tenderness for blue eyes
    the day when my dreams will erupt in the cellar
    along with dusty figurines and crappy shoes

    cracks of time
    breaking between now and tomorrow
    where he lingers..

    Submitted on 2013-04-08 09:02:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      is your lover military? "as always at his post somewhere at the blueprint of our world."

    Rich visualizations and the meter was as well.
    | Posted on 2013-04-17 00:00:00 | by Mepo | [ Reply to This ]
      A perfect poem? Well maybe,
    or maybe not
    but my eyes see what they will.
    you have turned everyday truths and images
    into metaphors of astounding complexity and yet
    your poem simply is so real and uncomplicated how could anyone not get it and fall in love with
    such an intriguing creation.
    | Posted on 2013-04-12 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]

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