[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Stable Fortune of Malcolm Morsedots

    Author: master raz
    ASL Info:    28/M/England
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 65/71/19
    Words: 348
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 648
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2546

       What do you do when you're foaled into buying a pony?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Stable Fortune of Malcolm Morsedots

    Now may I introduce to you
    a man named Malcolm Morse,
    who turned his fortunes round one day,
    when he bought a baby horse

    Now Malcolm Morse (who bought the horse)
    had planned for it to race,
    but he had to prove it'd got the hooves
    to earn its Pedigree place

    So he sent it to a specialist
    to confirm that all was right,
    but upon conclusion of the tests
    our Malcolm was in for a fright...

    You see...
    ...the horse that he bought
    was not as he thought
    to be a future Ascot winner

    In fact...
    ...the chances his foal
    would achieve his main goal
    were getting slimmer and slimmer and slimmer

    This latest development made Malcolm irate,
    especially the expert and what he did state:

    "I regret to inform you, but your horse is a phony,
    It's not quite Black Beauty, but more Shetland Pony,

    In fact might I suggest you put him to rest,
    he's failed the test, so it's probably for the best..."

    This news shocked Malcolm like never before
    and stood in the hallway, his jaw to the floor...
    "Stop speaking" he shouted, "I can't take it no more..."
    And promptly shoved the expert right out of his door...
    ...said Malcolm, as he pulled his car keys from the drawer
    "As we're not welcome in-land, we'll move to the shore"

    So he squeezed poor old pony into the boot of his car,
    a Mini Cooper, to be precise, that'd never travelled too far...
    A comfortable journey, it wasn't, I'm sure he'd agree
    driving two hundred miles with a pony on his knee.

    So off they went
    past Stoke-on-Trent
    and moved to Whitby-on-the-Sea
    Where he charged people to ride
    across the seaside
    on his not-quite-a-horse-but-a-pony

    And as the years passed
    quite a sum had amassed
    in the bank account of Malcolm Morse...
    ...and down to this day
    you'll always hear him say:
    "Thank goodness you were never a horse!"

    Submitted on 2013-04-08 15:05:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a fantastic poem from beginning to end. It maintains that delightful flow you start with and builds to a great punch line at the end. I commented extensively on your featured poem, The Gardener, and I think it is one of the most beautiful poems on this site - certainly among the closest to publishing quality.

    This is a great poem, too, though it seems more like one written for fun. In any case, I think it could be a terrific poem with a few changes to maintain the rhythm and syllable count throughout. You are definitely a great storyteller, which is a great commodity in poetry.

    Thanks for the read!

    | Posted on 2014-09-10 00:00:00 | by isselman2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think I rode that pony, when I was a little boy. My Gran said the guy was charging scandalous fees for a ride, but sure enough there was a long queue.

    I like the way your verseform varies with the story's rhythm but never busts out of its balladeering frame!

    This comment is like the one on Midnight Beast because I most noticed your easy skill with the sound of English.
    | Posted on 2013-04-12 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Push written by JanePlane
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Bond written by saartha
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    untitled written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]