I had found you for a moment,
and that is all that's it takes..
for you to sneak in and make your self a place.
Its not as if you are hidden here.
Your so out in plain sight, that even the sight of you makes more of you come...
and you sit at the table with me.
I have to rationalize my meaning for you to be there,
because it is me that is not asking you to leave..
you are sitting as a guest.
Even though you are a disruptive cord,
an "out of order area"
the disease of you is spreading
and I'm actually egging it on..
As I sit in my own bubble,
I act as though I have no control over the sickness that is spreading.
I do know, I have no will for it to stop.
Even though it gives me nothing in return,
in that moment I would feel lost without it.
But what it is and what it is doing
its ruining everything I've worked on...
I'm allowing it to tear everything up,
I almost enjoy watching it burn..
for the sake of the heartache I get in return...
Anger is a sickness, and sometimes the control it has is the only control you have, in that situation..know that it can be better...you have to ask it to leave.