Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: vigor.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: caster
    ASL Info:    31.M.MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 136/280/161
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 830
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 589



    Description:
       about: ...

    feedback: all feedback welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsvigor.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    i saw the storm
    outside, trapped behind
    somewhat clear inventions

    felt the demon
    in my back, shiver like post-traumatic absence-of-you
    bargaining with the wind

    god showed up
    set like a stone, unbent by the elements
    rubbing scarred wrists like unlucky rabbit’s foot

    i met him
    half way, between tourniquet and noose
    holy ghost-shot eyes

    and i screamed out
    in a whisper, frequencies carved for afterlife ears
    “is this what you wanted or is this what you feared?”




    Submitted on 2013-04-18 13:03:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very creative but I found this kind of confusing..I had to reread it and really think about what some of your phrases meant. I like where you are going with this though :) thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2013-04-22 00:00:00 | by raspberry89 | [ Reply to This ]
      and God said
    "scream at the image in the glass -

    he makes his own visions
    come to pass"

    Just some thoughts embedded in the quarry of your thoughts. If God is as omniscient as we believe, then nothing should surprise Him, not even the weariness that comes with humanity's questionable choices. It's probably more likely that His eyes are tinged with infinite sadness...

    Nice imagery, btw.
    | Posted on 2013-04-20 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197233

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Linger written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Promise written by annie0888
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Every..... written by jackz
    Fasade written by jackz
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Break Up written by WriteSomething

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry