This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

vigor.


Author: caster
ASL Info:    31.M.MO
Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 136 /280 /161
Words: 81
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1558
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 595



Description:


about: ...

feedback: all feedback welcome.


vigor.



i saw the storm
outside, trapped behind
somewhat clear inventions

felt the demon
in my back, shiver like post-traumatic absence-of-you
bargaining with the wind

god showed up
set like a stone, unbent by the elements
rubbing scarred wrists like unlucky rabbit’s foot

i met him
half way, between tourniquet and noose
holy ghost-shot eyes

and i screamed out
in a whisper, frequencies carved for afterlife ears
“is this what you wanted or is this what you feared?”




Submitted on 2013-04-18 13:03:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Very creative but I found this kind of confusing..I had to reread it and really think about what some of your phrases meant. I like where you are going with this though :) thanks for sharing
| Posted on 2013-04-22 00:00:00 | by raspberry89 | [ Reply to This ]
  and God said
"scream at the image in the glass -

he makes his own visions
come to pass"

Just some thoughts embedded in the quarry of your thoughts. If God is as omniscient as we believe, then nothing should surprise Him, not even the weariness that comes with humanity's questionable choices. It's probably more likely that His eyes are tinged with infinite sadness...

Nice imagery, btw.
| Posted on 2013-04-20 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



197233