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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: If I Coulddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Frank Maguire
    ASL Info:    57 / UK
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 1846/1390/288
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 790
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 625



    Description:
       If only..............


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf I Coulddots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I could live my life again
    Knowing all that I know now
    Id find a way to be with you
    Sometime, somewhere, somehow
    I would not wish to be a king
    Or at the head of any queue
    If I could live my life again
    Id live it all with you

    If I could love you once again
    I could not love you more
    Id have to be contended
    How I loved you once before
    My love for you could not increase
    Even if it was brand new
    If I could love you once again
    I would love you as I do










    Submitted on 2013-04-26 17:33:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      

    Frank,


    I don't usually comment on love poetry because I hardly ever light upon one that's riveting enough. However, yours was the exception. I can currently relate to the longing feeling and slight feeling of regret which might account for what I'm currently going through. I can also tell you I liked the way most if the lines flows. It is nice easy to be read and moving to boot.

    In the same vein, I would say that "brand new" sorts of hinder the flow a little so maybe it would be a good idea to get rid of "brand" or replace it by something else.

    Also, the title is too commonplace not catching enough which might be the culprit of the lack of comment.

    I hope you don't mind my suggestion they only reflect my take on it ... your call. As I said the piece is great and I liked it a lot.


    Take care and keep posting,


    Erick Soto
    | Posted on 2013-06-19 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      A hauntingly relatable depiction of longing. Thank you.
    | Posted on 2013-04-29 00:00:00 | by TheSnoitart | [ Reply to This ]


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