Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forgotten Slayingsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: GhiHaD
    ASL Info:    22/Male/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 46/64/24
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 720
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 527



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForgotten Slayingsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Slit my throat with your divine dagger
    Justification of one more crime
    One hand that eliminates all possiblities
    Paint your walls red with my fear

    My defiance is now noted as my death
    Escapades and trivial mind games
    Plunge deep into my chest with your talons
    Tear at my weakend heart

    Ravaged
    Stolen
    Forgotten

    Tonight we forget those who trusted

    Help me

    HELP ME!

    I tried...




    Submitted on 2004-08-03 22:25:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I took from this poem, as a person dying, going to hell, and being torn apart by the devil. If this was how it was supposed to be portrayed, I thought the lines at the end were fittingly melodramatic. Its like, old fashioned, in a newly thought of sort of way. Like the first lines tell a lot of the psychology of a suicide victim, but the rest displays the sinning soul thrown into hell. Is that what you were getting at? Dunno, just a thought, nicely written, I see the other side everyone else is speaking of as well. Very intense.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Dalelord | [ Reply to This ]
      "Tonight we forgot those who trusted"--thats a really meaningful line and i relate to that alot. many times, who i trust are forgotten for a good period of time in misery. good job.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by birdy5005 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    19734

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    To written by SavedDragon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Bond written by saartha
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Linger written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry