Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: in a single breathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Midnight_Toker
    Elite Ratio:    0.67 - 13/232/500
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 706
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 570



    Description:
       crap


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsin a single breathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    everybody is watching
    but nobody chooses to see
    everyone can hear
    but noone is listening to me
    nonexistent is what I must be
    a ghost although'I dont recall death
    I remember the'world as'it passed me by
    in'a single DEEP dreary breath
    I closed my eyes and felt my flesh
    burning and screaming in pain
    then I awoke to'see everyone watching
    but nobody knew my name
    I cryed for help-but noone came
    and'a realization approached...
    im a ghost




    Submitted on 2013-05-04 13:22:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A dark, disturbing sort of epiphany that proves that all realizations aren't a good thing. Metaphorically intended or not, this poem was a chilling rendition of waking up to the fact that you're at least a little bit dead inside. Something I hope we don't all go through. Thank you for sharing this :)
    | Posted on 2013-05-05 00:00:00 | by TheSnoitart | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197347

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry