Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: in a single breathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Midnight_Toker
    Elite Ratio:    0.67 - 13/232/500
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 510
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 570



    Description:
       crap


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsin a single breathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    everybody is watching
    but nobody chooses to see
    everyone can hear
    but noone is listening to me
    nonexistent is what I must be
    a ghost although'I dont recall death
    I remember the'world as'it passed me by
    in'a single DEEP dreary breath
    I closed my eyes and felt my flesh
    burning and screaming in pain
    then I awoke to'see everyone watching
    but nobody knew my name
    I cryed for help-but noone came
    and'a realization approached...
    im a ghost




    Submitted on 2013-05-04 13:22:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A dark, disturbing sort of epiphany that proves that all realizations aren't a good thing. Metaphorically intended or not, this poem was a chilling rendition of waking up to the fact that you're at least a little bit dead inside. Something I hope we don't all go through. Thank you for sharing this :)
    | Posted on 2013-05-05 00:00:00 | by TheSnoitart | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197347

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Redemption written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Etiquette written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry