[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sparkle Tearsdots

    Author: Akiko Hime
    ASL Info:    23/F/Romania
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 25/7/11
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 489
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 671


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSparkle Tearsdots

    Twinkle Twinkle faithful tears
    Shining through my dreaded fears,
    Words have scarred my fragile thoughts -
    Whispers running through my veins like clots.

    Twinkle Twinkle scattered scarres
    Marking crimson my hated dreams,
    Battles endless in my wreched past -
    All I had has turned to dust.

    Twinkle Twinkle lost wants
    Rushed within my heart's shards,
    Whishes try to reach the stars -
    Crushed under cold steel bars.

    Twinkle Twinkle beloved tears
    Shining light upon my years,
    Falling feelings make life light -
    Coloring sight with damned might.

    Submitted on 2013-05-07 15:23:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'm so sorry you feel this way. It kind of makes me want to hug you, but that would probably be weird if it were even feasible, because we don't know each other and stuff haha.

    Anyway, I really like when people play off nursery rhymes with their poetry, particularly when writing about something that's rather sad. It seems like a good way to keep some level of light-heartedness involved in a piece that's otherwise dark and depressing. It also really helps you accomplish the feel of crushed hopes, childhood dreams, and the like, because of the reminder of childhood that songs bring.

    I hope everything gets better for you soon. Truly. I hope writing about the pain is helping too and that you're reunited with true happiness in the near future...well, unless you just happen to be fantastic about writing on subjects that have nothing to do with your current mood, in which case, my concern for your heart's well-being is for naught. peace!
    | Posted on 2013-05-11 00:00:00 | by only_a_dreamX | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Live In Between written by teika5
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]