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    dots Submission Name: Red Rain: Takendots

    Author: Cordell
    ASL Info:    36/M/Philadelphia P.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.01 - 592/806/391
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 930
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 607

       Red Rain: Taken (Red Rain: Anthology 3)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRed Rain: Takendots

    I wasn't allowed back in the house, they have torched it, everything is gone, and I have nothing. Reality kicked in and it felt as if everything was a dream a fucking nightmare. The Navy, Marines, Army, Coast Guards, all national security governments were there. I looked upon the city skyline and seen the world in total, utter chaos. The scene was worse that I could describe. Buildings tumbled to the ground, bodies of the once living on the lying around, the dead with no sound. And anyone who knew anybody could be not found. A hand grabs my arm and yanks me into a van two doors slamů

    Submitted on 2013-05-08 21:46:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is terrifying, because you imagine said things so vividly in your mind. Though, some grammar issues- or rather, choice of where you put your words.
    Did you mean "The scene was worse than what I could describe" instead of;

    "The scene was worse that I could describe"?

    & "And anyone who knew anybody could not be found" instead of;

    "And anyone who knew anybody could be not found"?

    It's only one letter misleading, but it sort of puzzled me for a moment.
    However, breathtaking. I love this writing.
    | Posted on 2013-05-13 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]

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