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    dots Submission Name: Hope (and Lack Thereof)dots

    Author: TheSnoitart
    ASL Info:    19/ M/ USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 53/64/52
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 596
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 805


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHope (and Lack Thereof)dots

    A dream of armageddon
    The illusion of time, sweeping across this wasteland
    Like Death's own shadow
    A constant reminder
    Of what's to come


    How can you fight
    the ocean tide?
    We are but grains of sand
    carried by the waves and wind.
    Yet we cling to our selfish lies
    as if
    that would change anything.

    What can we do but carry on?
    Wait for that fateful day
    when we are worn down
    grains of sand broken to

    Even the worst of us
    and let's be honest, that's most of us
    have hope for something

    But what do vermin cling to,
    when all hope is lost?

    Submitted on 2013-05-15 21:37:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is beautiful. I think you'd like my piece called stardust. The last couple lines I like the best because it leaves the reader with a dramatic ending. Rock on.
    | Posted on 2013-05-25 00:00:00 | by Jessica Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! Let me just say that first. I'm glad I picked this poem to read and write a critique on because I'm a big fan of apocalyptic things. So, the theme definitely speaks to me. I enjoy the words that you use in this poem and how it's said, such as;

    "How can you fight
    the ocean tide?"


    "Even the worst of us
    and let's be honest, that's most of us".

    The message I'm getting from this work is desolate and maybe a little jaded, but that's not a bad thing in my book. The flow seemed to shift in different parts, but as a whole I give it a thumbs up!
    | Posted on 2013-05-24 00:00:00 | by KotaNashi | [ Reply to This ]

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