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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: hopeful heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Midnight_Toker
    Elite Ratio:    0.67 - 13/232/500
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 501
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1036



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshopeful heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wish that you could understand,
    I wish you could walk in my shoes,
    See through my eyes and FEEL from MY HEART,
    Through visions vicariously viewed,

    I wish that I could be like you,
    Free from the ANGUISH and PAIN,
    That NEVER ends but builds and ascends,
    Inside of my heart contained,

    heartache has tinctured and stained my core, no more do I feel any warmth,
    I sit alone and watch the sky as the sun sets and slowly transforms,

    Bursting beauty comes alive and is born,
    while time somehow stops and stands still,
    my lungs expand with air as I breathe,
    while thinking of you IM INSTILLED,

    inspired and so inexplicably filled
    with strength and hope for who I am,
    I wish you could witness this power I feel,
    I wish somehow that you could understand!!

    you wont even try
    yet I can't help but WISH...
    unable to resist,
    my foolish hopeful heart




    Submitted on 2013-05-22 14:27:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem only scores -4 on the Poetry Assessor (http://115.146.95.34/poetry/) and is therefore, unfortunately, in the amateur range.

    To score higher you need to use fewer affective terms (less emotion) more concrete language, less present tense (with a focus on the past), and fewer "insight" words.

    Hope this helps.
    | Posted on 2013-05-25 00:00:00 | by MDalvean | [ Reply to This ]


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