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    dots Submission Name: Prince Caspiandots

    Author: dancer-of-words
    ASL Info:    21/trans/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.6 - 167/158/74
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 675
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 941


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPrince Caspiandots

    I have a little kitty
    and he follows me around
    and when he steps with stockinged paws
    he doesn't make a sound.

    His whiskers twitch, his eyes are bright
    his tail is in the air;
    and as I flit from room to room
    he follows everywhere.

    And when I stop and come to rest
    to read or take a nap
    he leaps into my favorite chair
    and settles in my lap.

    But when he goes to leave,
    he sticks his tail up in my face
    and prowls around the hallways
    like he's always owned the place.

    He sits demurely in his chair
    and licks his iv'ry paws,
    then gazes unperturbed at me,
    and says after a pause,

    "You think, my friend, you make the rules
    but you have not deduced,
    that though you do the housework,
    it is I who rule the roost."

    Submitted on 2013-06-02 19:20:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I am not a cat fan,however this is still a cute
    Poem with a brisk lively pace. It is fun to read
    This kind of work leaves me with an upbeat bouncy feeling to carry
    through the day
    | Posted on 2013-12-17 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful Poem,

    I'm always a fan of this rhyming scheme. And you used it wonderfully to provide a fun airy poem. The theme is cute. Its the kind of piece I would read to my future kids (and expect them to enjoy). I suspect you had a fun time writing it.

    In terms of constructive criticism I don't have much to say. I believe your second stanza is missing an "H" on its very first word. And I would recommend changing the first line of the third stanza so that it did not end in "where". As this rhymes with the previous line, and while not bad does make it sound a little off to my ears. Perhaps, "And wherever I come to rest". Though at further inspection wherever may be the wrong word (and so is somewhere) cause it seems you may be exclusively resting in a chair. Maybe whenever?
    | Posted on 2013-06-10 00:00:00 | by Erreur | [ Reply to This ]

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