Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "They All Have But One Spirit"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AsiaticFox
    ASL Info:    28/M/A butterfly's dream
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 254/389/301
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 967
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 294



    Description:
       Eccl. 3:19


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"They All Have But One Spirit"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The breath in me is the exhalation of the she-raven.
    I breathe out, she breathes in, we are one.
    She takes to the sky, I scour the earth,
    her death is my death, her birth my birth.
    She opens her wings, I start to speak,
    but there is silence as lips meet beak.




    Submitted on 2013-06-04 10:16:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Love is something.

    I appreciate the metaphor, it's really well written. Flows nicely and evenly and logically. For all the logic, there is ten times more undiscovered genius in the way you wrote the emotions.

    I know it isn't all supposed to be gushing praise, but really this was so remarkable. :)

    --Carrie.
    | Posted on 2013-06-07 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197465

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Records I written by Raphael
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    prison written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry