Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "They All Have But One Spirit"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AsiaticFox
    ASL Info:    28/M/A butterfly's dream
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 254/389/301
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 945
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 294



    Description:
       Eccl. 3:19


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"They All Have But One Spirit"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The breath in me is the exhalation of the she-raven.
    I breathe out, she breathes in, we are one.
    She takes to the sky, I scour the earth,
    her death is my death, her birth my birth.
    She opens her wings, I start to speak,
    but there is silence as lips meet beak.




    Submitted on 2013-06-04 10:16:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Love is something.

    I appreciate the metaphor, it's really well written. Flows nicely and evenly and logically. For all the logic, there is ten times more undiscovered genius in the way you wrote the emotions.

    I know it isn't all supposed to be gushing praise, but really this was so remarkable. :)

    --Carrie.
    | Posted on 2013-06-07 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197465

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry