Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "They All Have But One Spirit"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AsiaticFox
    ASL Info:    28/M/A butterfly's dream
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 254/389/301
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1055
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 294



    Description:
       Eccl. 3:19


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"They All Have But One Spirit"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The breath in me is the exhalation of the she-raven.
    I breathe out, she breathes in, we are one.
    She takes to the sky, I scour the earth,
    her death is my death, her birth my birth.
    She opens her wings, I start to speak,
    but there is silence as lips meet beak.




    Submitted on 2013-06-04 10:16:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Love is something.

    I appreciate the metaphor, it's really well written. Flows nicely and evenly and logically. For all the logic, there is ten times more undiscovered genius in the way you wrote the emotions.

    I know it isn't all supposed to be gushing praise, but really this was so remarkable. :)

    --Carrie.
    | Posted on 2013-06-07 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197465

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Linger written by saartha
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To written by SavedDragon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Bond written by saartha
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry