some promises are harder to keep than others.
sometimes we have seasons where 3am is the only time our brain knows, our heart knows...
sometimes 3 am is the only time we can process anything of meaning and content.
it doesnt mean you are living in the past. sometimes, whether you realise it or not, you are just working out a new path to the future because the one you thought you were on, the one you planned your happily ever after around, hasnt quite turned out the way you dreamed it would.
when i read this i think of the song name by the googoo dolls... scars are souvenirs you never lose; the past is never far
and its true. the past is never far. and sometimes we beat ourselves up with it and sometimes we use it as a tool to learn how to do it better next time.
if you can stop beating yourself up with the past, stop letting it haunt you, maybe you can see some good that has come from whatever experience you are writing of in this piece and see if you can let it help you form a new plan of attack.
i promise myself almost every week that i'll lose weight. i break that one every week. i stopped promising and tried to actually DO something...