Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the datedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gwenn sundala
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 76/70/51
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Prose/Passion
    Total Views: 925
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 660



    Description:
       this was written for me by a boyfriend many years ago. he wrote it for my birthday about the party my parents had given me. part one in a series of three


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe datedots
    -------------------------------------------


    the date

    you invited me to
    a place filled with lights,
    sounds, people skating on ice, virtual guns
    going off, pizza being chowed on
    and above all this, there was you.

    you at the table conversing with
    your friends chowing on pizza and
    when you saw me there was
    a joyful look on your beautiful face.

    we danced to the tunes of many
    on the arcade platform of DDR
    you beat me of course
    for you are more experienced.

    together we are happy
    separated we are sad
    but i look forward to the
    next meeting.





    Submitted on 2013-07-02 22:44:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197572

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry