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    dots Submission Name: Souless Sun ( Not Finished? )dots

    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 799
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 904

       Just a piece I worked up, haven't been writing for a while and I wanted to build towards it once again. Thoughts or discussion appreciated.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSouless Sun ( Not Finished? )dots

    Gilded in burlesque light with the guile of a grotesque mind.
    Flaying back the sacred flesh of memory.
    Corrupting; foundation shaking-
    Erupting; conflagrating-
    Scorch away the shores of hope to a barren waste.
    Falling away from that celestial light, escaping what was known of paradise.

    Not a single smile-
    Not a frown upon their melancholic heads-
    Falling away from that celestial light, escaping what was known of paradise.

    The ghost of what makes us man was lost in the shifting sands-
    A hopeless little melody played against the roar of its burning symphony.
    Descending into the darkness of eviction from the promise land.
    Falling away from that celestial light, escaping what was known of paradise.

    Somewhere in a future sight we might see another sundown in paradise-

    Submitted on 2013-07-03 21:05:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like the solid declaration of having fallen and appreciate the hope the final line gives. I might have said "sun rise" instead of down since that conveys a new day to look forward to.
    | Posted on 2013-07-08 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

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