Sometimes I wonder if there was something I could of done, or if it was something I had already did. I wonder if it was something I could of said that day that just added to his pain, that just made things worse.. But he seemed fine, how was I supposed to know that he wasn't fine on the inside? Why didn't I know? He hid it so well. On the inside he was breaking down but on the outside, there was always a smile. I remember earlier that day, we were talking about his plans to join the military... With a laugh, he asked me what I would do if he died. Stupid me, not thinking anything of it, replied, "I'd come to your funeral.. maybe even write a speech." The next day at school, he wasn't there. I went on like usual, just a normal morning.. until 2nd period. During our big debate, I was laughing, joking around like usual.. Then a lady came in."Everyone here knows Trey, right?" He wasn't very known.. He was the quiet one who was only social to the friends he had, so some had to explain who it was.. and so the lady went on.
"There's been an accident."
My mind went blank. I was completely stunned.
"He's been shot..
We hear it was self-inflicted."
The class grew quiet. I looked around the room. Some were crying, some were in shock. I was still trying to comprehend all of it. I couldn't cry just yet. I couldn't seem to wrap my brain around all of it.
I will never forget the first question asked.
"What kind of gun did he use?"
Then I got this burning feeling. I wanted to punch that girl in the face... Did it matter?
Still unable to comprehend it all, i began to walk to my next class. Then it hit me. It came down. The tears were falling from my eyes and I couldn't stop them.. I couldn't hide them. I had to leave school.
He shot himself under his chin, pointing up.
But get this.
He's not dead.
God is not finished with him yet. It's a miracle. He's had a bunch of surgery done, and still is getting more but he can talk again. He's alive. Thank you God, he's alive. I seen him on the 4th of July for the first time since that day it all happened. He got another chance. I do miss that smile and I miss his laugh. But he's okay and that's all that matters. That changed me. People can hide their emotions so much. You could never know how much a person has bottled up inside. So I will remember to always let me friends know that I am here for them and that they are never alone. Life isn't all that great sometimes, but "every storm runs out of rain."