This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Here again...


Author: Themissingshado
ASL Info:    22/male/Seattle
Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 23 /52 /32
Words: 65
Class/Type: Random Thoughts /Depressed
Total Views: 1304
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 426



Description:


just writing what i feel right now...


Here again...



Here again
At the end
of a another broken heart
another lost love
but i fell for you

We dance through the sky
when everything was new
you eyes were so beautiful
like crystalline amber, so blinding
Nature took it's course
now we constantly argue
everything fell down between us
now what am i to do without you.





Submitted on 2013-07-10 00:48:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  first part is fine maybe capitalize stuff idk, but the second part

We dance through the sky (maybe danced?)
when everything was new
you eyes were so beautiful (maybe another word for beautiful)
like crystalline amber, so blinding ( like this line)
Nature took it's course
now we constantly argue ( change constantly to always) ( 2 syllable
everything fell down between us
now what am i to do without you.



I feel your pain friend, my girlfriend told me after 5 years she wants to be alone and doesn't love me anymore, hang in there okay. Life is a real bitch sometimes especially when you think its going well.
| Posted on 2013-07-10 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



197609