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    dots Submission Name: Justitiadots

    Author: EileenToTheLeft
    ASL Info:    28/f/va
    Elite Ratio:    2.58 - 16/36/55
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 542
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1054


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I never knew you.Though,
    a stranger, you walked into my room,
    as it was when I was eighteen.
    I, waking from sleep, sat up
    and watched as you
    placed your balance
    (broken) down and studied
    it in front of me.
    Never will I have the chance
    to tell you that I had this
    curious, vivid dream- and no,
    we did not kiss.
    You, frustrated, turned your back
    away from this - scales of justice,
    you act familiar, but
    how did you know where I live?
    Never mind that, don't be upset.
    I'm sure I can fix
    a damaged beam.
    And what weight broke it, if
    you don't mind me asking?
    What inequality?
    cries, as I assemble
    her tool, in measured disbelief.
    Now, balanced, the pans are
    truth and fairness, scope of evidence.
    And I lie back down in bed
    and watch Justitia,
    as she leaves.

    Submitted on 2013-07-22 03:53:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Eileen – Well, let me say, that I’ve been here a long time and this is the first time I’ve encountered your writings. I must tell you that you are a very talented writer. I’m impressed by what I’ve read so far, …but nothing since 2013? I hope this means you’ve left the site and haven’t stopped writing. Please don’t stop!
    As to “Justitia” – Why has no one commented on this? It’s terrific. Maybe it’s because I’m a Libra, but this struck a chord with me ( You know, that means I felt a kinship with its theme ). Some would say that Justice is only a dream, that “inequality” of law and of enforcement doom it to the netherworld. But as such the system we have is second to none’ and can be repaired and balanced. It requires, however, constant monitoring and adjustment (i
    DNA testing has freed so many and convicted others.) Perhaps the youth of today need to pay attention and correct its shortcomings.
    As to suggestions – Not many. Let’s say in S1-L3 you add “as” to begin the line, and period end the line. So that L4 you drop “as” and begin with “it” but not end with a period. So, L5 begins with “and.” Now move “I” to be in front of “sat up”.
    S4 – L2 Change of tense here, should be “cried, “assembled.” L4 - “were” not “are.” L6 - “laid.” L7 - “watched”. L8 - “left”.
    Well, that’s all I have, except to say, again, how much I enjoyed your work and to wish you would ,once again, write here.

    | Posted on 2014-12-26 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]

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