Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Times Seem Forgottendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 693
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 420



    Description:
       Morning with coffee at hand, had to come up with something.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTimes Seem Forgottendots
    -------------------------------------------


    In remembrance of others
    People seem to go all out,
    Mothers, fathers and brothers
    Dead people taking different routes.

    The morning breeze
    Exhales hope,
    It's like if God sneezed
    And shaved glacier slopes

    Yet we ask for more than daily bread
    Times seem forgotten,
    Like candles on a sidewalk
    No longer there announcing death.




    Submitted on 2013-07-22 08:59:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      And yeah, we move along, make unnecessary shows and deny having the strength that is indeed quite obviously there. Pff. As if it's the wisest choice to end your life just because another person's time has come.
    I possibly missed the mark on this - interpreting it as something way opposed to what you had in mind, but I guess that's the beauty of poetry.
    With this, I kept myself thinking about a discussion I had earlier in class with a friend of mine; as soon as I read the first couple lines, it was automatic.
    We spoke of funerals and hypocrisy in the mourning.

    The piece spoke to me that every human individual is something that can only grow, and grow, and grow - in contrast to the dead; those who no longer hold relevance...in realistic terms, as I see it.

    I don't know. Maybe hit me up with some tips on what you were thinking as the writer?

    Either way, I like the rhythm. Could be a rad spoken poem, better yet.
    Thanks for 'coming up with something', much appreciated.
    | Posted on 2014-10-08 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    197657

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Live In Between written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry