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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Hour of Thoughtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Erreur
    ASL Info:    20 / M / Canada
    Elite Ratio:    7.32 - 19/25/14
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Haiku/Misc
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1175



    Description:
       This is a collection of Haikus I wrote because I had nothing to do in the last hour. Well I had stuff to do... I just didn't do it.

    Pretty much I wrote one Haiku that I liked was about to submit it when another one popped into my brain.

    Then another

    Then another

    Soon I was thinking in Haiku exclusively. I collected all my observations over the course of an hour in this meaningless collection who's greatest virtue is showing that I need to get a life.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Hour of Thoughtsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I’m lucky to have
    modesty, a great virtue.
    Not that I’m bragging

    Lonely I sit still
    Life moving past me, snail like
    I’m a mucus trail

    I hear the T.V.
    News channel drones on, and on,
    Maybe I’ll listen

    My friends give me two
    Opposite opinions on
    Pacific Rim. Hmm….

    Thinking in Haiku
    But I’ve got nothing to say
    It’s a big bummer

    Moving my legs fast,
    Rubbing them on my bed spread
    Makes a rustling sound

    Oh no! It is calm
    What happened to the TV
    Guess my dad’s asleep

    Wait for ideas
    Still waiting for ideas
    But ideas skip sloths

    Got an itch to scratch
    On my err… um… Anyways
    To solve, I just scratch

    Marshmallows are white
    I enjoy them fully now
    Later diabetes

    Kissing my pillow
    Fantasies rise within me
    Wait, just, hold that thought…

    I want cereal
    And Honey Nut Cheerios
    Await me downstairs




    Submitted on 2013-07-28 00:13:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      If they had a coherent thought about them, and if the subject matter was interesting, it would of been brilliant. Otherwise it is what it is, a number of haiku's strung out. Clever as it is, I cannot say anything overtly constructive, it is what it is. Yet I can say you've inspired me to do something like this in the near future.

    -Dustin
    | Posted on 2013-07-29 00:00:00 | by HisNameIsNoMore | [ Reply to This ]
      dinner enfolds us
    with delicate aromas
    mouth watering glee
    | Posted on 2013-07-28 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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