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    dots Submission Name: burstingdots

    Author: Rhaine
    ASL Info:    25/Yes/An Alley
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 660/744/196
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 586
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1139

       idk i just typed this up, kind of all over the place, but thats usually how my work is. i dont want anything grammar wise im really looking to add to or rewrite some of this, it could be better. enjoy!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    i try to hide this pissed off feeling
    i close my eyes and lose myself
    i feel blue
    i feel red

    rushing wind outside these ears
    tingling in the toes
    everything's so upside down
    i fear a constant falling

    would the rain drown out my laugh
    as the river swallows me

    i peer inside my busy mind
    i allow myself that much
    marching cats and dynamite
    falling bridges and lava trees

    running and running and running i go
    wishing and wishing and...wishing i guess
    who knows these things
    who reads the lines
    who has the time

    will the birds eat my brains
    will they just stare
    will they ever call again

    i hate you i love you
    you help me you hinder me
    just press pause

    spinning and spinning
    swearing and cursing
    yelling til my face is hot
    til my tongue falls off

    i want to be content
    i want the sky to glow
    i want to spread open my arms
    and consume the world

    Submitted on 2013-08-02 14:50:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can really see what you mean by all over the place. But I figure that if you like to write with such imagination, such things should come naturally and with spontaneity.

    I feel that if you tried to make it better... you know sit down and thought about it, you might take the life out of it. It was interesting and fun to read and even crazy to try to picture some of these things. But it isn't a piece that needs deep thought or revision. Just expression. There is raw emotion in these lines and I thought the piece did its job.

    | Posted on 2013-08-22 00:00:00 | by AEREASSAULT | [ Reply to This ]

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