Entangling by Outlaw

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Submission Name: Entangling dots

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Author:	Outlaw
Elite Ratio:	8 - 513/417/196
Words:	133

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	1337
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	946

Description:
I re-looked at another old poem. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do/did.

Entangling dots

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I like to watch
the many little
choices you make
unfold into a tree.

I enjoy seeing where my roots are,
commingling with yours
and yet somehow
asunder
we manage to stand.

I am foolish! I should be burned
at
the bark for,
I am green of envy.

Autumn sends yet its heralds;
and I feel my leaves' souls writhing.
Can you see me yet?
Are you reddening now?

I bark at you,
my chester heart aflame
because of your leaves,
I bark in desperation.

Let me cherish fruits -
the ones born by bees.

Let me eat fruit
and consume sundered souls

Let me sleep there
sleep where I am with you.

Submitted on 2013-08-04 11:33:56 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
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||| Comments |||
Quite clever here. I bark, I bark, what a lark.

Lloyd
| Posted on 2013-08-12 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
Is this about that same aforementioned girl in the mini-skirt you were so enamored with. If so your definitely getting over your tongue tied. Crazy madly deeply you 'bark'! This was a lot of fun in an other handed, vicarious kind of way. It's good to see you writing.

Bruce
| Posted on 2013-08-04 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

197715

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.