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    dots Submission Name: Waving Handsdots

    Author: Kael Fenshir
    ASL Info:    26 / M / That weird place
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 17/57/52
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 771
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 472


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaving Handsdots

    I have a fear
    Of being left alone
    Like a hamster in a cage
    Not a bird on a mountain
    But sometimes I turn my head and notice your view
    Decadent aura
    All full of hate
    Can you not love?
    Could you not stop?
    I'm waving my hands
    From left to right
    Just notice me for once
    And recognize what I have to give
    It's a mouse compared to what's left
    In a universe of greed

    Submitted on 2013-08-07 19:08:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed the way you broken down the rhythm, without making stanzas. Reminds me of how I first started writing poetry. Overall, the message was very vivid. My favorite part?

    Can you not love?
    Could you not stop?
    I'm waving my hands
    From left to right

    It reminds me of someone waving at they're soul mate, but the other person being so distracted by regular day to day stress that whey they saw you out of the corner of they're mind, they were so sad, that that person kept on walking.


    I enjoyed this keep writing! Never give up on your dreams my friends.

    my last suggestion, make it longer!

    Love you - Me
    | Posted on 2013-08-12 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]

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