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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: uncertaintydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KotaNashi
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 29/36/18
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 672
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 493



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuncertaintydots
    -------------------------------------------


    does my brain
    need
    to be rearranged?

    am I
    the one who's
    strange?

    rub my eyes
    to make it
    real

    bend me until
    you feel i'm
    ideal.

    eat my words
    like worms to birds

    and chase me into my daydream -
    lay with me until we're apart of each others bloodstream.

    molding contours, pure delight.
    tie me down; i'm a kite.




    Submitted on 2013-08-08 10:55:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Uhooo, real thoughtful poetry. Nice, I'll be back for more...

    Lloyd
    | Posted on 2013-08-10 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      The scene in my mind creates a dimly lit room with minimal amount of furniture involved. The narrator is at one side, and the listener is at the other. The narrator feels as though they're talking in a whisper-like style, but the listener can barely understand. Instead of speaking louder, the narrator is questioning their own way of speaking/conversing.

    Maybe my scenario just sounds better in my head. I don't know.

    Dustin has it right though.
    | Posted on 2013-08-08 00:00:00 | by Kael Fenshir | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and simplistic-

    The delightful phrasing rolls nice off the tongue. It seems to me as a reflection of an almost outcast in the sense 'times are changing but am I not?'

    The final three phrasing I feel are the stronger parts of this piece, that sudden flow change in correspondence with the worm and bird phrasing change the direction well. It almost ends as if the character in question is harkened to a simpler time where things were simple and they weren't an outcast.


    Thank you for the write-

    -Dustin
    | Posted on 2013-08-08 00:00:00 | by HisNameIsNoMore | [ Reply to This ]


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