[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sonnet - Moribunddots

    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 75/186/232
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 916
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 718

       I wrote it using a specific set of colors and themes in mind to paint... Enjoy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSonnet - Moribunddots

    Illuminated faces growing old,
    light escapes the eyes with belief of God.
    Evaporated ambition goes cold,
    night stifling with shivering dreams- awed.

    Senescence- a single thought remembered,
    scribble caricatures; become Chaucer
    Quintessence- heaven building; dismembered,
    paradise lost- desired the crosser.

    So long to life, leaving it so empty;
    lacking of substance- bygone dead era.
    Fear upon the pew- the silent abbey,
    alone once again with Charon; lira

    The past flashes and appears orotund,
    waiting at the end is your moribund...

    Submitted on 2013-08-08 21:51:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      As I grow ever older and ever more in denial in regards to the aspects of that point where one grows older no more, these such words hold meaning increasingly. Perhaps the greatest loss is found in the "ambition goes cold", kind of like some other extremities I suppose.

    | Posted on 2013-08-12 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Further to the comment below: I guess the rhyme-scheme and metre matter a lot to a sonnet, snd your design here interested me because once I was trying to write sonnets and made an enormous chart of the possible designs. It revealed so many variations I had never read, and indefinitely more if you make free with the metre! Then I have read some modern sonnets which have no rhyme and more lines -sixteen or eighteen. I like your three ballad stanzas and a couplet here, and the elegant pattern of alliterated weak rhymes alternating with strong rhymes. If you are doing that on purpose I think you are clever, and if not then you have a great feeling for verse!

    The couplet sounds a touch awkward because of the two rhyming words - but maybe it is because the Moribund thought kind of trails off and I have to add my own speculation to it! After reading several times, it does not sound awkward.

    I so like this poem. The sentiments are well-known, even tired, but a poem's job is to freshen up suchlike items and this one succeeds in that for me.
    | Posted on 2013-08-09 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I always like sonnets - they are the big survivor of such a lot of medieval fixed verseforms that didn't import so well from French and Italian into Chaucer's English! It's awesome how fitting one's poem into this frame makes one review and refine it!

    I understand this as an experience of a big old church, maybe in Europe and it is like being in a Gothic cathedral actually. The imagery is srt of implied by the thoughts expressed. I think it is a skilful and beautiful poem.
    | Posted on 2013-08-09 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Instances written by hyproglo
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    untitled written by Chelebel
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]