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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sonnet - Moribunddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 75/182/208
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 718



    Description:
       I wrote it using a specific set of colors and themes in mind to paint... Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSonnet - Moribunddots
    -------------------------------------------



    Illuminated faces growing old,
    light escapes the eyes with belief of God.
    Evaporated ambition goes cold,
    night stifling with shivering dreams- awed.

    Senescence- a single thought remembered,
    scribble caricatures; become Chaucer
    Quintessence- heaven building; dismembered,
    paradise lost- desired the crosser.

    So long to life, leaving it so empty;
    lacking of substance- bygone dead era.
    Fear upon the pew- the silent abbey,
    alone once again with Charon; lira

    The past flashes and appears orotund,
    waiting at the end is your moribund...










    Submitted on 2013-08-08 21:51:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      As I grow ever older and ever more in denial in regards to the aspects of that point where one grows older no more, these such words hold meaning increasingly. Perhaps the greatest loss is found in the "ambition goes cold", kind of like some other extremities I suppose.

    Lloyd
    | Posted on 2013-08-12 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Further to the comment below: I guess the rhyme-scheme and metre matter a lot to a sonnet, snd your design here interested me because once I was trying to write sonnets and made an enormous chart of the possible designs. It revealed so many variations I had never read, and indefinitely more if you make free with the metre! Then I have read some modern sonnets which have no rhyme and more lines -sixteen or eighteen. I like your three ballad stanzas and a couplet here, and the elegant pattern of alliterated weak rhymes alternating with strong rhymes. If you are doing that on purpose I think you are clever, and if not then you have a great feeling for verse!

    The couplet sounds a touch awkward because of the two rhyming words - but maybe it is because the Moribund thought kind of trails off and I have to add my own speculation to it! After reading several times, it does not sound awkward.

    I so like this poem. The sentiments are well-known, even tired, but a poem's job is to freshen up suchlike items and this one succeeds in that for me.
    | Posted on 2013-08-09 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I always like sonnets - they are the big survivor of such a lot of medieval fixed verseforms that didn't import so well from French and Italian into Chaucer's English! It's awesome how fitting one's poem into this frame makes one review and refine it!

    I understand this as an experience of a big old church, maybe in Europe and it is like being in a Gothic cathedral actually. The imagery is srt of implied by the thoughts expressed. I think it is a skilful and beautiful poem.
    | Posted on 2013-08-09 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]


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