Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Musical Stars & Kittens


Author: Kael Fenshir
ASL Info:    26 / M / That weird place
Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 17 /57 /52
Words: 89
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1681
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 594



Description:




Musical Stars & Kittens



The band's playing tonight
So come for a ride
There's plenty of space in the venue
Way up in the sky
Drifting words
Caught up in my life
When I was young
This little kitten sliced up my life
Music is blaring
Milkshakes are finished
Think of that time when
Wait, no, I went ahead
Pull it back
Even further now
Down to bare bones
I'll lay you on the grass
Beneath those stars
We'll never see
I hate living in the city
But I'll let you be




Submitted on 2013-08-08 23:03:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is definitely different that what I have read from you so far and yet the voice is familiar. I believe that in itself shows talent. This was a sweet nostalgic piece with a bit of edge to it that made it different. I like the humility that I get, you are blunt with your words. Good stuff.
| Posted on 2015-07-04 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



197735